Scenes from a ward....

Dr: "So do you smoke?"

Me: "Only when I'm awake."

C

Cricket Ball Pain

Last night I was at bootcamp....this outdoor exercise group thing I do three times where I pay people to scream at me and call my names all in the pursuit of physical fitness. Anyway so I'm doing this sprint across the soccer field with my fellow bootcampers when I was absolutely convinced that someone threw a cricket ball at my calf. I looked around accusingly. Everyone kept running....I couldn't see any random evil cricket player looking guilty. I then looked down at my calf and saw it swelling. At first I thought I had a cramp. I used to get them a lot when I was younger and it had been ages since I'd had one....I was due. I stretched it out and in the past, usually I could walk within a few minutes. With this I couldn't; in fact over 15 hours later I still can't. I went to St Vincent's and sure enough I have a ripped calf muscle. So now am on crutches; I have to go to get an ultrasound today to see how badly it's ripped and then I guess physio. When I asked the dr how long is the recovery, she said "How long is a piece of string?". Great.

C

Time After Time

Well haven't I been so slack?

I don't know where this last month has gone. Time seems to be speeding out of control of late. I remember my grandfather used to always say that life was like a snowball, the further it got down the hill the faster it went. I think he was right.

The truth of the matter is I've been rather busy; I've started a new position at work which is thankfully challenging my grey matter again as opposed to my last position…which was killing it, not enhancing it.

I spent most of the rest of March in post Frenchi blues. Yes we had a super fantastic time when he was here. I've never quite had a week like it…in fact I think I'm still there. So it was hard to see him go. I never thought I would become one of these ridiculous long distance relationship people but it appears that I have. We're early days yet of course but I have to be honest….am damn well smittened.

Other news is that I had my UK Visa approved. Now before everyone jumps giving me love life advice, this was not applied for in the pursuit of said French citizen; it was applied for long before we even met. And yes only I would choose to move to Britain in the middle of the GFC (god I love an acronym….only two months ago, I thought GFC was a toxic gas) but hey I love a challenge. Strangely I've actually been having interviews with a number of organisations over there looking for lawyers; we lawyers are the professional equivalent of cockroaches….you will never get rid of us, a good bout of GFC just makes us stronger. Still if nothing comes up before the end of August, I intend to take three months off and go give it go anyway…and if nothing happens, I will simply come home with my tail between my legs. I meant to do the UK work thing (it's an aussie tradition) about ten years ago but came to Sydney instead…I want to do it before I am too old. And as for Frenchi, he at the moment is being headhunted by a bank in New York so by the time I get to London town he will be in the big apple; so we'll see. I do concede in the last few weeks I was a little confused as the motive I had for going to the UK; him or me. It's still me….Frenchi is an added complication…a delicious one. But thankfully one does learn with age to control one's giddiness and I realise that nothing is ever a certainty, set in concrete or forever. I'm just enjoying him for now….as much as I can when he is over ten thousand miles away.

So I'm in for quite a ride in the next six months; lots to organise: renting out of apartments, doing the mother of all spring cleans and getting rid of all my junk, telling the parents (it will be like coming out all over again) and saving my arse off….no more benders for me for some time. I'm terrified and not sleeping. Which is good because I've been asleep for a long time. Nothing like a little bit of terror to wake up one's soul. T's good. I finally feel like I'm starting to smell the coffee.

HOORAH!


C

Who Would Have Guessed?

Well the bitch is back.

You really didn't think I'd gone had I? As my friend Betty has always said, there's no better pick me up than to kill yaself and go to your own funeral. I thoroughly recommend it.

I feel better than Whitney in a crackden.......thanks to all your kind comments. Vvvv. nice.

So ya. Am back. But I have some new rules so as to avoid potential past emotional time bombs. From now on tmc will be lighter than a Hollywood lunch; no more Dr Phil Oprah my mother is sleeping with my plant how do I feel about this palava. I am putting my Freud handibook away and pulling out that great dinner party ice-breaker......two dimensionality.

Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride..........

C

RIP tmc

As I mentioned in a previous post, I had been umming and arrrring over whether to rest tmc recently and something happened today that has convinced me that it is now time for Colin to leave the building. tmc has been bordering on more an on-line diary of late....something I never intended it to be. And this has lead to someone quite close to me being hurt......even though it was certainly not my intention to do so.

tmc has been a great experiment and I've loved it for reconnecting me with my love of writing. I'm certainly not going to give up but I think it's a sign to get serious about this craft and tackle something much bigger than a couple of blog entries per week.

Thanks to all of you who read tmc, some of you are my closest mates and some I've never met in my life. Regardless I've always appreciated your words of encouragement.

I never say never though, so you may see me back out there in the blogoshpere at some point but not as Colin......Colin and his blog of thoroughly modern shenanigans is most definitely and completely over.

Thanks for reading!!

C

Open Wide

10.20 am Saturday : in the dentist chair: mouth open like the opera house

Dentist: This tooth is going to require root canal treatment.

John: Oh. Is that the same as a root canal?

Dentist: Yes

John: But you said last time it wasn't a root canal? You said it required a filling.

Dentist: Yes. I was wrong.

John: But you took me through the xray and explained to me how it required a new filling

Dentist: Yes the xray was wrong.

John: I thought you were wrong.

Dentist: Sometimes xrays can be misinterpreted.

John: I thought root canals were supposed to be painful.

Dentist: Normally they are but the nerve in this mollar appears to be dead.

John: When did it die?

Dentist: It's hard to tell.

John: Wouldn't I've known?

Dentist: What do you mean?

John: Well surely I would have felt something when it died.

Dentist: Not necessarily. Sometimes nerves just die without pain.

John: Half their luck. So how much will this cost?

Dentist: Well this particular root canal is quite complex; I would have to refer you to a specialist.

John: Is that because the nerve is dead?

Dentist: The root canal has gone all the way to the bone.

John: Well isn't that what a root canal is?

Dentist: Yes essentially. But this is a complex root canal.

John: I can see that. How much?

Dentist: Because it will be done by a specialist, most likely $2500 for the root canal treatment then $1500 for the crown.

John: And I've already spent a $1000 on the original filling treatment which cracked in the first six months.

Dentist: Yes

John: This will be a $5000 tooth.

Dentist: Yes

John: What's the point of saving it?

Dentist: As your dentist I have to urge you to save every tooth but...

John: Every tooth is sacred is that what you're saying.

Dentist: Yes.....there is however only a 60% chance of saving the tooth through the root canal treatment.

John: So I will be spending $5000 on a tooth that has essentially lost it's mind, can't feel anything and has a 40% chance of not surviving anyway.....

Dentist: Yes

John: Would you spend five grand on a holiday where you've got a 40% chance of being killed?

Dentist: No

John: Exactly. When can I have it extracted?

Dentist: Next Saturday?

John: Lock it in.

C

Hip Hip.....

Judith Lucy on the film Australia :

It shouldn't have been called Australia, it should have been called Oh For Fuck's Sake!

Hoorah!

C